FLASH! forward..backward..hell, just FLASH!

This is too funny not to post. Flashers can be both funny and HOT! Let me be clear. I am not referring to the flasher that lurks behind a bush and is likely out on an unassisted daypass. I refer in this case to the neighbor who, after getting out of his hottub, is trying in vain to switch from wet trunks to dry ones, precariously holding a towel to shield the others in his yard from...AHEM...'his goodies'. Neighbor did not take into consideration that he is in close proximity to his neighbors and while he may be concealed from his yardmates, he isn't from me!  I'm sure if he knew of my observation, he'd be rather embarrassed.... trust me.... there's no need! No need indeed. On a sidenote, I am proud to say that I asserted remarkable self-control and did not catcall something such as 'would you like fries with that shake??'. Still not sure how I managed it. And that my fellow readers, is that best your getting.  I now have a sudden need to go sit in the backyard.

Dirty kitty? Nevah!

What do I know? Installement..something..maybe three. Cats are obsessive about cleaning. This won't be of much use to many unless your trying to sleep beside a cat who finds the need to keep you awake because it's bathtime.  There seem to be two classes of the cleaning regime to consider. The full-on-head-to-toe- bath and the 'i got something on my face that's bugging me' quickie clean. The quickie is much less irritating and is done to get rid of, say, unwanted food crumbs. This type of cleaning can sometimes be less than graceful , as in the cat who drags his crusty arse across the carpet risking rug burn and all out humiliation. The full on bath is something that can occur anytime, day or night. I have yet to figure out a set schedule. I have been woken or kept awake by cats who absolutely MUST clean every inch of their bodies no matter the hour, or walked in on cats, mid afternoon, leg almost wrapped around the neck,  cleaning...well you know what's being cleaned.  I have discovered three things about both types of cleaning. One. There is no room for breaks during the clean. I guess when the job must be done, it must.  Two. Do not try and deter the cleaner by say putting your hand in the way because it's annoying. It won't work and you will either be subjected to stinkeye or, one of my cats simply tries to clean me. He seems to know that the scratchy, wet tongue is not pleasurable to humans. Three. NO shame. Middle of dinner. No shame. Absolute strangers gawking. No shame. Anyone who's watched them clean knows what 'no shame' will mean.  While humorous, at times annoying or inconvenient, I have to admire the persistence and how they just know from very early on how to do it and that it must be done. I only wish they took the cleaning a step further to say, vacuuming and scrubbing the bathtub.